Rocky Horror Host Club
by a4chincookie
Summary: The host club goes to a live showing of Rocky Horror Picture Show. Tamaki is the only virgin in the host club. Rated M for sexual themes although there is no sex. Implied TamakixKyouya.


The double doors flew open as Tamaki-sempai made his bold entrance leaving a trail of stunned women and the occasional man behind him. Looking determined he placed one foot beyond the doorway emitting gasps from the crowd behind him. Closing his eyes he placed the other foot just past the doorway positioning himself completely inside the strange theater. Cheers erupted behind him and he opened his eyes to see many women in fishnets and high heels. Hikaru and Kaoru appeared at either side of the king. Their eyes widened at the sight and two lightbulbs clicked on simultaniously. Grins appeared on both faces. "This, my lord, is what commoners do with their spare time," they said in unison. Tamaki's eyes lit up at the word.

"All hail poverty!" Tamaki shouted loudly. "This shall be our next theme!" He announced spinning around to face his fans along with the rest of the host club. Shocked applause broke out from the group as the audience and cast members of the show stared in confusion. Grinning brightly at a defeated looking Kyouya, Tamaki swept the blonde bangs from his eyes. After winking at one of the girls in his growing crowd of fans he turned and skipped inside.

Kyouya sighed and turned to faced two very amused twins as well as an indifferent Mori and a fascinated Hunny. "Why, out of all of the places in this town did you have to pick this one?" sighed Kyouya in the twins' general direction.

"Isn't it obvious?" asked Kaoru between hisses of laughter.

"Didn't you say that Haruhi had a part-job that she wouldn't tell us anything about?" Hikaru howled no longer able to contain his laughter.

Kyouya, Mori, and Hunny all gave a stunned look toward the two brothers and then each other. Simultaniously three light bulbs clicked on at once making a total of five.

"You mean, here?" cried Hunny, his eyes wider than usual.

Kyouya wrinkled his brow at his own daftness. Of course here…but, why _here_? This didn't suit Haruhi at all! Or, _did_ it? Now no one was sure. Kyouya sighed and pushed up his glasses. Plastering on his usual fake smile he turned toward the rest of the Host Club. "Well, let's enjoy ourselves and keep Tamaki out of too much trouble. He IS a virgin after all. I trust none of you told him what happens to virgins?" He eyed the other members of the Host Club all of which shook their heads no. They'd all had their cherries popped already so they knew what to expect.

In another part of the theater Tamaki was walking around taking in all of the audience members. Some were casually dressed, but many had costumes on. He saw many maids' dresses and several women in fishnet stockings and heels. He saw many women with top hats and men with Speedos and even some with hunchbacks. He also saw a few things he didn't understand such as rice, newspapers and squirt guns. He had never seen this kind of thing before so it wasn't long until something completely threw him off.

There was one woman in the very back of the theater, alone, facing away from the audience. Having spotted the loner Tamaki swept the hair from his eyes and put on a charming smile. He walked steadily toward the woman making note that she had great legs and incredibly curly-yet-tame hair. Pulling a rose from his pocket Tamaki tapped the woman on the shoulder. "Excuse me, but I couldn't help but notice that you're all alone. Could I borrow some of your time?" he said in a low voice. Before waiting for the woman to turn and face him he bowed and extended his rose.

Frank N Furter turned around swiftly eyeing the man stooped before him and grinned. "Borrow? You can have it!" he bellowed before lifting Tamaki's chin and giving him a swift kiss on the cheek. "Let me guess, you're a virgin, aren't you?"

Tamaki, still bent over in front of the woma-man let out an audible gasp as his eyes widened in shock. He studied the man's face and raised an eyebrow in utter confusion. Realizing he'd just been kissed by this strange man Tamaki's cheeks turned bright red. "V-v-v-virgin?" he managed to stutter.

"It's your first time being here, is it not?" replied Frank with a smirk.

Tamaki cleared his throat in an attempt to regain his composure. "Y-yes, it is, but I can assure you I am no virgin." Tamaki stated with a nervous chuckle.

"Ooh, experience, I like that in a man. Its fun to play, but if you don't know what you're doing it can get quite boring, don't you think?" Frank asked the king. "Although I do thoroughly enjoy the company of VIRGINS as well." At the word "virgins" Frank raised his voice high above the crowd who then let out many cheers and popping noises.

Tamaki glanced around nervously as the crowd of people stared at him and Frank intently waiting for a show. The sight was overwhelming, but a figure running toward him, well, stumbling toward him caught his attention.

"Sempai!" shouted a familiar voice. An out of breath Haruhi stumbled toward the two. "Sempai, come with me."

"H-H-Haruhi?!" Bellowed Tamaki. "Daddy's so glad to see you!" He shouted joyfully, unintentionally wrenching himself from Frank's grasp to take Haruhi up into a spinning-bear-hug.

An annoyed looking Frank watched as the two spun seemingly uncontrollably. He sighed realizing his virgin had been taken away from him and went off to prepare for the show, but not before shouting a "See you again soon!" to Tamaki.

Tamaki continued to spin Haruhi until she began to get dizzy at which point she promptly called out "Mori-sempai!" The two were then broken up by Mori just before Haruhi lost her dinner. He put her down carefully and she breathed a sigh of relief. Closing her eyes she began warn Tamaki, but stopped mid-sentence when she realized he wasn't listening to a word she said. "Sempai, I don't think you should talk to anyone before you see the show it could-"She opened her eyes to see a dumbfounded blushing Tamaki staring somewhere below her eyes. "SEMPAI!" she barked smacking him hard across the face.

The twins' howling laughter rang through the entire theater even through all of the chatter. Tamaki fell flat on his ass still staring dumbfounded, but this time at her eyes. "H-H-Haruhi, w-w-what are you w-w-wearing?" His eyes traveled down her body as she attempted to cover up the revealing corset and fishnet stockings. Haruhi blushed angrily and turned away shortly realizing that wasn't a good idea as she was wearing short shorts that barely covered her as well.

Tamaki fell backward, his eyes vacant as his soul began to leave his body. "My lord!" the twins managed to say between fits of giggles. "Hang in there my lord!" The final light bulb clicked on and joined the others spelling out the words "Haruhi's Secret".

Tamaki jumped to his feet and pointed his finger at Haruhi exclaiming "This is PERFECT for our next theme!" There was a short silence where even Hikaru and Kaoru had stopped laughing.

"That was a fast recovery." Haruhi sighed. Then there was laughter. Excessive amounts of laughter. Laughter coming from people who didn't even know what was going on. Even Kyouya chuckled as he wrote the idea down and calculated the combined interest of the female population of Ouran. Upon thinking of the girls at Ouran he grimaced at the thought of Renge's sure over-enthusiasm at the idea.

The lights went lower as a sign for everyone to take their seats. Haruhi apologized about all of the noise and went back to work serving people food and drinks. Tamaki, Kyouya, Hikaru, Kaoru, Hunny and Mori all took their seats with their various props.

A woman with a top hat wearing bright colors stood on the stage in front of the large screen. She introduced herself as "Columbia" and asked for all of the first timers to stand up. Tamaki having already forgotten his encounter with Frank stood up enthusiastically. Looking around he noticed that there were only a few more people that had admitted to it being their first time. Columbia giggled and asked them to please step forward toward the stage. Shortly after, a man with long blonde hair and a hunchback brought out a card-board cut-out of Frank, as well as some tape and a cutout of something totally obscene. A few people from the audience laughed once they realized which game was going to be played, Hikaru and Kaoru were the loudest.

Tamaki blushed a deep red after looking at both of the card-board cut-outs but remained at the front of the stage. Columbia had he microphone once again. "Okay virgins; pop your cherries, like this!" She demonstrated by putting her finger in her mouth and making a popping sound with her cheek. The virgins popped their cherries in unison. A couple of the people at the front hadn't noticed the card-board cut-outs and attempted to sit down, which was met with laughter by Columbia as well as the audience. "Silly!" she giggled "We're not finished with you yet!"

The card-board cut-out was set up in the middle of the stage. The newly devirginized audience gulped as they tried to piece together what they would have to do. Columbia picked five people out of the group and sent the rest back to their seats. One of the five, with help from Hikaru and Kaoru, was Tamaki. Columbia lined them up, Tamaki being 3rd in line, and blindfolded each of them. "This game is called 'Pin the Cock on the Frankie!'" She laughed loudly and was accompanied by the audience, this time Kyouya's laughter was the loudest. "It's just like pin the tail on the donkey, only, well, you get the idea!"

She quickly spun the first victim 10 times and handed him the card-board cock. He quickly duck taped it around Frank's bellybutton after stumbling a few times. She gave the 2nd victim, a very embarrassed looking girl, the card-board cock and spun her around 15 times. The girl wandered around in the wrong direction for a bit until she got turned around completely and accidentally stuck the cock on Tamaki, the next in line. Tamaki flinched at being touched while not expecting it; luckily the girl stuck it to his stomach and didn't go any further down.

Columbia then gave the card-board tool to Tamaki and gave him a good 20 spins. The crowd erupted with laughter for some reason that Tamaki couldn't see. He walked slowly with his hands out in front of him until he felt something. It felt like…leather…was the cut-out actually wearing clothes? He couldn't remember. Getting onto his knees he felt his way down the sides to what felt like fishnets and decided that he'd found the hips. He taped the card-board cock right in the middle and a little lower than his hands. The crowd erupted with laughter. People were hooting and whistling so loud Tamaki couldn't stand it any more. He quickly took off the blind fold and was face to face with the card-board cut-out of a man's cock taped onto a not-so-card-board Frank. What made it even better was that it was taped exactly where it was supposed to go. Frank grinned down at Tamakie and put his hand on the back of Tamaki's head. Looking at the crowd and giving his best orgasm face Frank delivered Tamaki a pelvic thrust causing the card-board to flop and hit him in the face.

Tamaki's eyes widened in shock and horror at the situation; however he was glad that his friends were enjoying themselves at his expense. Frank allowed him to stand and they made way for the remaining two victims who, being blind folded, had no idea of what was going on. Tamaki watched in amusement as the victims attempted to stick the card-board member to the Frank cut-out. He silently thanked Columbia for only spinning him 20 times instead of 25 and 30.

During the time that the last victim was attempting to 'Pin the Cock on the Frankie' Tamaki attempted to sneak off stage un-noticed. However, a woman in a maid's outfit with crazy hair swiftly blocked his exit. Defeated he returned to the group of victims hoping that the games were over. Unfortunately, Columbia announced that she had one more game for them.

"The game is simple. Males, you bend over and females, you get behind them. Then you spank them as HARD as you can! Guys, you have to give us your best moan. The audience will vote on who the best couple is." She giggled and paired the victims together leaving Tamaki until last. Breathing a sigh of relief he tried once more to leave the stage. However, Frank quickly blocked his exit. "And where do you think _you_ are going?"asked Frank raising an eyebrow.

"W-well, I'm the only one left. I don't have a partner." Tamaki gulped the second the words left his lips. He knew what would come next. Frank grabbed Tamaki's wrist and led him to the stage. The other two couples had already finished so all eyes were on him and Frank. To his surprise, though, Frank was the one bent over, not him.

"Give it to me!" moaned Frank into the microphone. Tamaki's eyes widened in embarrassment. He looked at the audience and tried to find his table. He found Kyouya and their eyes met. Kyouya just smirked and nodded his head. "I said GIVE. IT. TO. ME." Shouted Frank.

Tamaki drew his hand back to give Frank a good smack on the ass when a woman in the audience suddenly shouted "T-t-t-t-t-t-touch me! I wanna be dirty!" and the entire crowd erupted again. Tamaki swallowed and smacked Frank's ass, _hard_.

"Oohhh Yeahhhhhh." Frank moaned. "Spank me you naughty, _naughty_ king!" The twins fell out of their chairs and clutched at each other on the ground no longer able to breathe from laughing so hard. Aside from Hikaru and Kaoru, the most audible voice of laughter was Haruhi. Tamaki blushed deeply when he heard Haruhi's laughter, but a small grin appeared on his face.

"I think we all know the winner here." Columbia stated walking back on stage. "Let's hear it one more time for our virgins! Thank you all for participating and no hard feelings" she said winking at Tamaki. Quickly all of the no-longer-virgins made their way back to their seats. Tamaki took his seat next to Kyouya and put his head down on the desk.

"You did well." Kyouya said patting Tamaki on the head.

"Yeah Tama-chan! You were great up there! Right Takashi?" Hunny gushed.

"Mmm." Replied Mori nodding.

"My lord." The twins said in unison. "Will this still be our next theme?" They leaned in closer.

Tamaki abruptly stood up. He closed his eyes, brushed the hair from his face and outstretched his amrs toward the Host Club and his fans. "Yes. Yes, _this_ will be our next theme!" He declared emitting applause from his group. He scanned the room and saw Haruhi coming toward him a bit less graceful than usual in her heels.

"Count me out." She sighed."I can't even walk anymore!"

"Why did you sign up for this if you didn't want to do it Haru-chan?" Hunny inquired head tilted slightly.

"Oh, this is just a one week thing; don't you remember what my dad does for a living? He had the crew come here for a bit of diversity from his usual act." She pointed at the stage where the movie was getting started. There was a couple on the stage, the woman being Ranka and the same person that yelled out of the audience during the spanking session. Haruhi sighed. "He's just so odd sometimes, but I still love him!" She smiled brightly.

"Shut up you two, it's starting!" shouted Hikaru.

They took their seats and watched as the crowd shouted insults and lines every chance they got. Tamaki learned the time warp and managed to ask Frank where he got his costume without being sexually harassed too much. All-in-all it was a very successful first time.


End file.
